How to Build a Chore Routine When the Kids (and Adults) Aren’t Used to One
Sigh. Getting everyone on board with a household routine when you’ve never had one (or haven’t kept one for long) feels like trying to herd cats. Or in my house, a mix of cats, half-folded laundry, fur covered everything, and people who suddenly become invisible when you say the clean up.
But here’s the thing: a house that runs even slightly on routine is a lot less overwhelming. It doesn’t mean it’s spotless, it just means everyone knows what “their thing” is, and that alone can keep the wheels from flying completely off.
Start Small (Seriously, Smaller Than You Think)
When I tried to build a schedule in the past, I made the mistake of assigning everything to everyone. It lasted about two days. Now I start when we are all here to get it done.
Here is what I would love to have done, but it does not seem to stick, so as I write this, I am also working on this.
Daily: Dishes, sweeping, or quick bathroom wipe-downs. (for me, vacuuming would go here)
Weekly: Vacuuming, changing sheets, or tackling a single closet.
The smaller the list, the more likely everyone will actually do it and not feel ambushed. When you start small, it builds trust that routines don’t mean endless chores; they mean shared responsibility. (Which is where I fall off the wagon).
Make It Visible (Because “I Forgot” kills me)
Visual reminders help more than we think. A dry-erase chart, magnets, or even sticky notes can turn “Oh, I didn’t know it was my turn” into “Okay, fine, it’s written right there.”
You can even rotate tasks each week so no one gets stuck doing the same thing forever (and you can pretend it’s fair). The goal isn’t a Pinterest-perfect chart; it’s something simple enough to actually stick with.
Lower Expectations While Everyone’s Learning
Here’s the hard part (ESPECIALLY FOR ME): it’s going to be messy at first. Someone will half-dry a dish and call it “done.” Someone else will “forget” to vacuum because “it didn’t look that bad.” Take a breath. This part is just teaching them how to notice what needs doing, and that takes time. (Am I writing this for you or me?!)
The trick is to correct gently but consistently. Redo it together if needed, but resist the urge to just do it yourself (I’m still learning this one).
A funny one my kids hate (but I hope one day they will laugh at? “Whole a** it once, so you do not have to half a** it twice - yeah, I grew up in the South…)
Remember the Real Goal
The goal isn’t perfection. It’s teamwork. It’s teaching your kids - and yourself - that keeping a home running is everyone’s job. It’s not glamorous, but it builds responsibility, awareness, and respect for shared space.
And if they complain? Just remind them that someday, they’ll thank you when they’re not the roommate who thinks dishes magically clean themselves. (You can also change the wifi password until it’s complete (shrugs).
I’d rather teach them to scrub a toilet now than raise adults who can’t find a sponge.
